Isn't it interresting the process we go through to live the right way? One might say there are a lot of rules to follow or a lot of hoops to jump through. The one who says this does not know the value of the lessons that bought about the process. So, the one keeps searching for a way to get around the process to move in and out of the woven rules to get what they need or even just get what they know can't be theirs. They take great pains to ensure they are satisfied having lost the empathy for the other one in pain. I am so glad this is not my story. There is a process that is valued and respected and measured with the wieght of lessons internalized, embodied, practiced. The past would be too grievious to repeat, so unwanted. There is good that began and the good remains, and now it's better....so much better. The things once saught...security, familiarity, friendship are found differently now. There is a peace in the storm that once was and now the storm still comes and goes but the peace of God remains steadfast never moving like the tumultuous waves we see on any given day. He now is your rock. He now is your center of gravity....He has given you purpose....wisdom from one who has learned so much in volume and depth. This one will be close but will not take the place of the One who died to save you and lives to redeem you. :) You are precious, and perfect in His eyes. You are priceless...His bride, the one He pursues you relentlessly. He will never let you go when others will fail you consistantly.
There is a purpose in the pain and I am realizing the pure benefit of the pain again. Isn't it a strangle thing that I could want more?.....i do. I want to be filled up by my Groom. I want to deeply understand His passionate love for me and have that spill over into my marriage to my adoring husband. That has begun, but I want more.
What will Jesus to next? I wait. Could we lose something precious.......yes. I don't want to but He could do that. Could he take my home?....yes. Job lost everything. How did he manage? This is not some fairytale....he lost everything. Do you want Jesus to meet your every need? Do you know that He can? Do you question that? Your intimacy with your savior starts there. What does your dependance on God rely on? A place to lay your head every night or a meal 3 times a day? Do you relay on God for those things?
There is a purpose in the process.....His divine purpose in our lives lived out by us in His strength. Suffering is not the goal......our goal is Jesus. Relying on the One. Process is a means to the end not the end itself.....do not give it the power to control you. Jesus has something so much better in mind for you.

If you think I am writing to you I might be however don't be so sure :) Are you in process? If you love the Lord and your answer is no....then we need to talk. If you call yourself a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ then you are in process. Do not make the process an idol....it is merely a tool used by your loving heavenly Father to mold you. If the process is taking a long time don't rush it. Let the Lord work. Be in prayer....and thank God for the pain. Take on the joy He has for you.