...inside. I am dying inside. I'm in this new place just sufficating longing for any other time than this one. I have no one to turn to accept for those I would comiserate with (the wounded). I desire a fresh perspective to pull me out of this hell but I'm trapped with no possibility of escape right now. I have an ache in my stomach that will not go away and a sadness that I have never experienced before. I cannot be myself around others...I am forced to be something else right now and I know this will slowly kill me.
Dear Jesus I need relief. You have said "I love you with an everlasting love" and I believe You. I have need and the one I go to is needy. I close my eyes and I see images that are unreal to me but not for someone else and the knott in my stomach gets worse. My life will forever be different now, but God, dear God I did not ask for this! Why? Why are you allowing this??? Why did you "consider it good" for this to happen to my one. Why dear God? Jesus you suffered greatly and I guess I am just beginning to understand the evil that you suffered. So, Jesus forgive me for the questions. Forgive me Lord for underestimating you healing touch. Forgive me! Dear Jesus I ask for a friend who will pray for me and not need the details. They need to know I am hurting but only second hand. The one is hurting so deeply words fail to order the thoughts of loss and grief. They need to understand this is now my "lot in life" and the only change will be healing from Your hand. They need to understand that I will be tempted to be cut off. estranged. dostant but that would be my enemy telling me "there is no hope". He hates me and will do anything to discourage. They need to understand that I will be tender to any jest. They need to understand that I need to process this horrible mess and that Jesus the lover of my soul will make sence of it all and bring His peace.
Friend thank you for praying. I hope you are out there. Since late Monday my world has experienced a tumultuous earth quake leaving huge gaps in my path stretching as far as the eye can see from left to right and spanning out to the horizon. Please tell me you are praying...that is all I need.
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About Me
- Dawn McArthy
- Owned by God, seeking His Spirit, and loving Jesus because He first loved me.
2 comments:
I am praying and will continue to do so. The pain will be healed. We can pray for that together. You are not alone. We are not alone. He knows what He is doing my love. He comes with healing on His wings. Carl
Thank you honey. I depend on time in prayer and talking with you. Thanks to everyone else who's been praying, I know who you are and you do not go unnoticed. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and pray that God's will is done in our lives and in those we entrust to God.
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